Friday, September 17, 2010

Oh fuck me, your lady friend got a voice?

Confused by the post title? No worries, it's somewhat obscure. I would really only expect my Polish engineer carpool-buddy to recognize it, as he's the one who tipped me off about this movie...

Anycrap, went to Cache Creek today with Maggie the Cat. And somehow, I managed to lose more in three or four hours of Cache Creek than three or four days at the Paris in lovely Las Vegas, Nevada.

But Maggie couldn't get over what happened at the Pai Gow Poker table. I myself was somewhat astounded, watching it unfold before my eyes. I mean, heck, the whole beauty of picture IDs is that you can look at the picture and try to match it with a real, live person sitting at the table. Cool shit, huh?

She was the only non-oriental person at the table. Stuck out like a sore thumb.

(note from Katie:  this was originally an audio post in which Maggie the Cat describes a funny incident where the pit boss takes our IDs so we can get player's cards.  maggie is the only white person at the table, everybody else is oriental.  Pit boss brings the cards back, looks at Maggie's ID, asks the table "Who's Maggie?" w/o realizing that she's the only one at the table with an anglicized name.) 

Oh, and fellow oriental patrons of Cache Creek? TRY GODDAM BATHING NEXT TIME. Fuckity-fuck, whenever I bring my grandma to a casino, we're both clean and non-reektastic! Holy Eff, I straight-up left two out of my four tables today because I was smack-dab in somebody's ripe, gamey oriental-stench!

<play cardtype="Race">
Important to note, 16th Parallel Peons: Maggie the Cat's liberal use of "oriental" is naturally condoned and encouraged by this very same politically incorrect Oriental Degenerate Gambler-- although interestingly enough it wasn't my recent usage of the adjective which catalyzed her usage of it. She had already started dabbling with it, but I just helped her along down that path...

We both live in the SF Bay Area, where "Oriental" hasn't been used in quite some time. It pisses off the Chinks, Japs, Gooks, and Gooks.

But back to the vice at hand. Cache Creek can eat me. What kind of dicks don't grandfather you in when they change their table limits? Jagoffs. I'm going to play at right now since I can play $2 craps. Oh, look! Another referral link for AnnA to steal. (long story.  ask about it during the next "ASK KATIE GREENE" post.  --KG) I thank my lucky freaking stars that he gambles like a little girl.

And the gamble-age itself? Well, like I had told infrequent 16th Parallel Peon Nyree Minasian: "Doubles triumphs over theory any day of the week." Tia Katie: Low pair, A-K. Cache Creek: Middle pair, A-K. Copy goes to Cache Creek. Tia Katie out another $25. Flawless play on my part but with shitty cards? Should've stayed in the area and gone shooting... But Maggie did a bit better though. She bought me lunch at In-n-Out. Looked really eff-ing good in that peach/pink dress. Nice shoes. Nice Prada purse.

All my Love,
Tia Katie


  1. cool!supportin bro :)

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  2. That story is freakin hilarious to me, all to real. :D

  3. heh, is available... for the next few seconds, at least

  4. I love the movie Snatch...Guy Ritchie is my fav director.

  5. fricken love snatch

  6. it looks like you're headed in the right direction with this post...

  7. I hate when you are in line or somewhere and people just REEK! They didn't even bother to spray themselves with cologne/perfume to try and cover it up! At least make an effort!

    Rant aside, how much did you end up losing? Or rather not divulge?

  8. tal: this was five years ago, but based on my gambling habits back then, i probably dropped about $200 on a couple hours of $5-$10 California Craps (cards, no dice) and $25 Pai Gow Poker

  9. Ah, I keep forgetting these are usually old entries like you mentioned some time ago...