Feelin' Crappy! (Look, but don't touch...)

Was hanging out here all morning...as such, here's more craps strategery to get you in the mood. I already gots a hankerin, and misery loves company.

Pass Line Progression

When you win your first pass line bet, you get paid one unit. Let those ride. Your second win will get you 4 units. Take 1 unit off, and let the other 3 ride. You just got back your original bet, so now you're playing with free money. A third win will give you 6 units, let these ride. A fourth win gives you 12 units. Now take 8 units off and let the 4 remaining ride. You now have an 8 unit profit with 4 units still on the table. If you win again, let all 8 units ride. Then take back another 8 and let the 4 ride. Continue in this fashion until you lose. Just remember this progression of units to bet: 1-2-3-6-4-8-4-8-repeat 4-8. Craps is a game of cycles, when you're in on a winning cycle, you need money on the table to win. But eventually, all good things come to an end, so take some profits down whenever you have more than 8 units on the table.

This sounds good! Except 1) doesn't mention what to do about your free odds bet and 2) oh how i wish winning at craps was as easy as writing 1-2-3-6-4-blah-blah-blah. Sure, memorize your system, but like I was telling infrequent 16Peon Kahlid Sheik Bro-hammad about backgammon once, "Doubles triumphs over theory any day of the week." This no different. Your foolproof money management system may look great on paper but unfortunately depends on some choadstain hitting point after point. And by the time you've hit a hot streak, you're already two sheets to the wind and very Happy to Be There because that cute cocktail waitress keeps bringing you Nuts & Berries. Good Morning, Las Vegas!!!

As a quick aside, God Bless the genius who thought of the bottomless champagne tap at the buffet @ the Imperial Palace. You, sir (or even madam), are a credit to your race and one day people will write songs about you.

Numbers Progression

This same strategy applies to bets placed on the "numbers." This is called "pressing" your bet. To press means to add the previous win to your bet. For example, you say to the dealer "place the number 9 for $5." Now the shooter rolls a 9 (before a 7), you win $7 in profit. Now say to the dealer, "Press it up." The dealer will put another $5 on the number 9, and gives you $2 in profit. So you now have $10 on the number 9. If the shooter rolls another 9, you'll win $14 in profit. So what do you do now? Press it up again. Another $5 will go on the number 9, and you'll receive $9 in your pocket. Let's recap; after the number 9 was rolled twice (before a 7), you have $15 still on the table riding on the number 9, plus you have $11 in your pocket. Not bad for an initial $5 bet. You can, and should, place money on all the numbers if you want to win, or at least on the 6 and 8 (you have the best odds on winning with 6's and 8's). You can see how quickly it will add up, if you get a hot shooter. Or how quickly you can lose, if the table is cold.

This is similar to the earlier March post He who lives by the dice shall perish by the dice. And I was curious about pressing the Place 6 and Place 8 bets, so i set up a spreadsheet that tells me what you'll win pressing various amounts and also a sample number of rolls which tracks the number of consecutive win-scenarios. So far, so sucktastic. I've hit two eights in a row before the seven.

And further examination of my spreadsheet is telling me that you could lose an assload of money, but really, what else is new?

Next is a very good article about craps etiquette... Have You Made a Friend at the Craps Table Today? This is probably the biggest deterrent for new craps players. Where to stand, how to get chips, what to call certain bets, and most importantly, what not to do at the table. I didn't have anybody to teach me, but after having figured this out (and many times, the Hard Way. heh) i've imparted what I think is pretty solid advice to several people. But there's still stuff here to learn, like the whole "only put your hands in specific designated areas". which seems like a no-brainer since you really should just stick to the Line and the Come (or the Don'ts) and if you're at a $1 table, the field too.

Not gonna quote the whole damn thing. Here's the important points, check out the article for details. Trust me on this one.

Oh, and they don't mention this, but don't take the dice off the table or touch them with both hands. And if you happen to do either of these, don't do it a second time because by your second reminder, the players now hate you. Unless you look like Marisa Miller. Surprising just how much this absolves...

Rule 1: Never reach into any portion of the layout except those areas labeled Pass Line, Don't Pass, Field, Come, or Don't Come. ... Rule 3: For bets the dealer must place for you, give explicit instructions as to how much you are betting and the bet(s) you wish to make. ... Rule 6: Make all of your bets while the dice are in the middle (between the stickman and the boxman). ... Rule 7: Whether placing a bet yourself or giving chips to the dealer to place on your behalf, place your chips directly in front of you. Dealers have only two eyes. If they do not see who places a Come bet, for example, they assume the bet belongs to the player closest to it, resolving ambiguous positions by asking the players whose bet it is. This can lead to disputes when two players claim the same bet. Disputes not only slow down the game but also create tension. Tension makes the game less enjoyable for everyone. Dealers cannot take money or chips out of your hand. Therefore, when giving a dealer chips for a bet he must place (e.g., odds on a Come bet) put those chips not only in front of you but also on a line separating two areas of the layout (e.g., between Come and Field, but definitely not between Come and the point number boxes -- see Rule 1) while stating what bet you wish to make. Should the dealer forget to reposition your chips their ambiguous placement will certainly be questioned by at least one crew member, at which time you can restate your wishes. An obvious exception to this rule are prop bets, those booked by the stickman. For these bets get the stickman's attention, then call out how much and where while tossing him your chips. The image of a stickman disappearing in a hail of chips to a cacophony of bet calls may bring a chuckle to players; it is far less humorous on the receiving end. Rule 8: Listen to what a dealer tells you, especially if you have asked him a question. ... Rule 9: Do not color up (exchange lower denomination chips for higher denomination chips) unless you are sure you will not need the lower denomination chips, or you are leaving the table. ... Rule 10: When pressing or parlaying a winning place, buy, or prop bet, announce your intentions as the dealer is about to pay you. ...

Odds are 5 to 1 that i'll end up at an indian casino this weekend. Any takers?

Katie Greene, VP of Public Relations, Expresso Parking