Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Flightplan is a huge pile of horseshit, so I guess I don't feel so bad about this spoiler...

Do not see Flightplan. You are better off spending the $9 on skittles.

A few quick observations...
1) Wouldn't that much C-4 detonated in the explosion have left a small crater in the tarmac? Never mind that Jodie Foster and her mystery daughter were shielded by some pretty sheet metal which apparently was tougher than the metal used in the fuselage.

2) You dumbfucks. She's miraculously walking away from the post-explosion plane, and the stewardesses ask, "What's she holding?" WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS SHE GONNA BE CARRYING BUT HER DAUGHTER YOU DUMB-HOLES?!?

3) Yay for political correctness. Nice job, Leftist and Elitist and allegedly-tolerant Hollywood, on playing on our modern-day fears of Arabs in airplanes. They probably were terrorists, and just pissed that the turncoat Air Marshall and stewardess got the jump on them in hijacking the plane. And the Arab at the end handing her a bag? Wow, that was both contrived and annoying.

4) What a shitty ending. You would've been better off by having Jodie Foster be the crazy one. The Forgotten was somewhat of a shitty-stretch-- hey, let's put aliens in here! But no, you didn't even put an x-files twist to it. There really was a conspiracy to kidnap her daughter because she (not the daughter) had extensive knowledge of the plane. Wonderful. Oh, and yeah of course the air marshall and stewardess and morgue director were in on killing the husband. Duh. I saw through that right when I saw the husband. You didn't see that coming? Go back to shitantics already.
My friend got up to pee during the movie, as he'd had a hefty Long Island Iced Tea beforehand. When he came back, I whispered to him, "The Air Marshall was sent back through time to protect her and to impregnate her."

We should have been so fortunate.

Katie Greene, Vice President of Public Relations, Expresso Parking