Thursday, September 2, 2010

(and apparently your Auntie Katie forgot to give this post a title)

One more. Found this at hotsaucelive

Ode to the Nice Guys

bgcolor="burlywood" because this is the biggest crock of shit outside of shitantics. What can Brown do for you?
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Read the whole thing, goddamit. My counter-rant will mean so much more that way. while i agree that this is a good idea and a valiant attempt at shedding light on one of the growing problems with single women, really it boils down to this:

BFD. So we get a toast, we get a tribute? Who the fuck wants that?

What nobody knows is that this allegedly enlightened "chick", after writing this went out and took it doggy-style from the alcoholic who didn't call her back two weeks ago. And what were us nice guys doing? Playing GTA in the comfort of our celibate-cells? Wonderful. And really, did a "chick" even write this? To be able to fully encompass the grief which is being a "nice guy" is too much for the common woman to understand. They're too busy taking it doggy-style from alcoholics. Some dude wrote this between GTA missions.

Gimme a fucking break. You wrote us an Ode? You know how much shit nice guys go through because they're tricked into believing that you want to be friends? Way too goddam much! You know how much Halo I could've played instead of helping my hot, butterface neighbor with her goddam homework? Sure, I got to check out her low-rise jeans, but again: BFD.

My advice to us single men out there-- stop thinking about it. Stop trying to figure out exactly why she's fucking the guy who stole her car and confiding in you about it like you're her goddam sister. Women want to be treated like shit. Nevermind what they say, pay attention to what and more importantly who they do.

Don't try to be nice to the stupid woman, that's futile. Instead try to realize the truth.

Women like to be treated like shit.

Then you'll see it is not the other assholey alcoholic that is giving it to her doggy-style, but yourself.