FUCKING A-Q PAI GOW PUSHES AGAINST MY ROYAL FLUSH. ASSHOLE.

PREVIOUSLY ON THE 16th PARALLEL...

"by the way, fyi, the electric eel is a worthless piece of shit. there. i said it."
Oh fuck me, your lady friend got a voice?
Today Was a Good Day

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 7:00 AM AND 8:00 AM.

EVENTS OCCUR IN REAL TIME.

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The permalinks above? I put those there because one talks about playing Pai Gow Poker with Maggie the Cat, and the last one talks about the progression I was using on bodog.com which can be modified for craps, yes, but in its original form works very well for Pai Gow Poker. Unless your 30% of losing hands comes fast and furious and knocks you out before any of your 41% of push hands or 29% of winning hands make an appearance.

Pai Gow Poker is a pretty cool game. In no way does skill at poker translate to skill at Pai Gow Poker-- it's all raw, stupid luck. There are some strategies, but like i've told you good 16th Parallel Peons and infrequent 16th Parallel Peon Nyree Minasian, "Doubles triumphs over theory any day of the week."

And speaking of Nyree Minasian, btw, a special thanks to all of Tia Katie's friends who aren't going to read this because they're busy reading other, stupider shit which doesn't even offer any practical analysis on something which they might enjoy, like oh I don't know-- Craps, perchance? No, no, no. Gotta read something on Salon, or about how some chick is running a regression on why dudes aren't calling her back depending on which base she let them get to.

(note from Katie:  in hindsight here in 2010, i wish i had linked to this aforementioned article back in 2005)

What's even better is when one of Tia Katie's friends e-mails him asking him to read some poem he posted on some obscure blog. And fully acknowledges that his 16thP-ing has been very infrequent, but asks Tia Kate to overlook this inequity.

Back to the Pai Gow Poker. All raw, stupid luck I sez...

lucky you, bodog.com...

Pigfuckers. The goddam straight flush didn't win. Not with a 6-4 Low Hand. You like that? You'll love this one...

eff you, bodog.com...

And with that title attribute, I've found a new post title. Also gotta add two older recap posts about Insaniquarium. Check em out, you probably haven't read them. And then go play Insaniquarium.

Katie Greene, Vice President of Public Relations, Expresso Parking