Generic Nintendo versus Brand Name Nudity

(Note from Katie:  this post originally appeared on Tuesday 03 October 2006)

Chatting with CwTKnockers. Cool links. Everything but the first one is NSFW.

http://www.playmessiah.com/products/
10:00 PM CwTKnockers: http://www.playmessiah.com/products/

And really what did you expect for a <th> other than the only line in the chat?

There is a God...
10:40 PM TiaKatie: http://dailyniner.com/jenniferhurt1.shtml TiaKatie: http://dailyniner.com/jenniferhurt2.shtml TiaKatie: http://dailyniner.com/jenniferhurt3.shtml TiaKatie: There is a God... CwTKnockers: nice TiaKatie: oh ya TiaKatie: katie like

I'd post a picture, but i'm too lazy right now. And it's almost midnight and i'm falling asleep @ the keyboard. Maybe tomorrow, we'll see...

he did not find it amusing. my mom laughed her ass off
10:50 PM CwTKnockers: yo CwTKnockers: my dad came in and he said "I put in a pacemaker in 40 minutes today". I replied with "I took an hour and a half nap". he did not find it amusing. my mom laughed her ass off TiaKatie: LOL

CwTKnockers' parents are pretty cool. They're building Rancho TKnockers right now, it's pretty sweet. But really enough about them. Your Favorite 16thP Vice President can't seem to stress enough the importance of Jennifer Hurt. So he made it the <th> yet again.

But really, is it any wonder why? Sweet Jennifer-Hurt-Dreams, 16thP Peons...

http://www.playboy.com/girls/coeds/cotm/200609/jennifer-hurt.html
10:55 PM TiaKatie: yay for video! TiaKatie: http://www.playboy.com/girls/coeds/cotm/200609/jennifer-hurt.html CwTKnockers: what school is she from? TiaKatie: not sure... http://www.mdsg.umd.edu/Education/REU/2004Hurt.html TiaKatie: ?

which loosely translated means, "i like your boobs / let me lick your boobs"

Yes, that post title is somewhat inappropriate. Especially since I like legs and buttocks more than boobies. But since a good portion of the 16P will either like boobies or have boobies (hopefully both?) I'm in a very small minority. Despite my being a large minority. (Read: Post title socially inappropriate. I'm not a boob-man. Most of you 16Peons are boob-men or are women (or are boob-women?), so I am of the minority opinion. Although I am a husky [race censored].) That first paragraph was just confusing enough to those on the outside looking in to warrant a translation. Hope this helps. If you didn't need a translation to read the first paragraph, you'll probably be amused by the italicized stuff then... The Sea Gal in question is a fourth year Sea Gal named Trina. She's dreamy. Katie Greene, Vice President of Public Relations, Expresso Parking You're the Man now, dogg! AnnA: dude, I love that picture with you and the sea gals. TiaKatie: yeah, me too AnnA: great background. AnnA: great foreground TiaKatie: nice mammaries AnnA: yes, me likey TiaKatie: my favorite one is in the lower right TiaKatie: curly hair TiaKatie: w/highlights AnnA: o rly? AnnA: orly.ytmnd.com 9:10 AM TiaKatie: am i missing something? AnnA: this is what I meant to show you AnnA: http://rly.ytmnd.com/ AnnA: http://chunkpicard.ytmnd.com/ AnnA: you seen the latest ytmnds? TiaKatie: no, hit me AnnA: http://chocolatequarter.ytmnd.com/ TiaKatie: LOL 9:15 AM AnnA: http://cornonthekabob.ytmnd.com/ AnnA: this one is awesome. TiaKatie: LOL 9:20 AM TiaKatie: oh that's fucking hilarious AnnA: and that's the actual song! TiaKatie: yeah TiaKatie: i recognize it TiaKatie: "korah matah / korah ratamah" TiaKatie: which loosely translated means, "i like your boobs / let me lick your boobs" AnnA: hahaha AnnA: http://conanthekabab.ytmnd.com/ 9:25 AM AnnA: http://spongebobhuntsmoore.ytmnd.com/ AnnA: ROFL!!! AnnA: http://ournextprez.ytmnd.com/ AnnA: ROFL!! TiaKatie: OH JESUS TiaKatie: i wasn't expecting that <hotchicks origin="sea" colloquially="gals"> click to enlarge in new window Korah Matah Korah Ratamah </hotchicks>

Will Work for Food

There's only one secret to bachelor cooking-- not caring how it tastes.
-- P.J. O'Rourke

Was cooking tonight. This seemed to impress Concord Mary. Little did she know that it tasted like crap. But she wanted a picture of the franken-dinner. Sent her this e-mail. And it was so good (the e-mail, not the food) that I'm reformatting and 16th Parallelling it!

TiaKatie's e-mail to Concord Mary

Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006 20:41:38 -0800 (PST) From: "TiaKatie" <tiakatie@oakland.com> Subject: yay for bachelor cooking! To: "Concord Mary" <concordmary@3000milesfromfreakingoakland.com> OK here's a picture of my bachelor concoction. You want the recipe? You got it. Don't eat this with anything less than four cosmos in you. And make sure you're wearing paisley. OAKLAND PASTA CRAPFEST some pasta some frozen vegetables you found in your freezer minced garlic olive oil leftover pizza crushed red pepper packets from domino's parmasan cheese packets from domino's water salt Don't bother to preheat oven. Don't even bother setting it to any particular temperature. Just pick something over 250 and you should be fine. Take everything out of the oven, place the pizza on your pizza sheet. Put that fucker in, and forget about it. Boil some water. Throw in a pinch of salt. Get some of the noodles which you likely found in your cabinet, and cook that shit. Booyah! Drain that shit, and put it to the side. Collanders and strainers may facilitate this. When all else fails, you can use an old hard hat. Tear open the plastic bag of frozen vegetables which you bought several months ago. Avoid the temptation to use the bag of vegetables which have been sitting in your freezer door: they look like shit. Slam the vegetables against your counter to break off several fist-sized chunks. Throw them in the wok. Oh, you should've been warming up the wok in the background. Or not. Really, it doesn't matter at this point. Thaw out your vegetables. Keep your wok on constant low heat. Or sweltering hot heat, like any good bachelor can tell the difference. Sooner or later (hopefully sooner if you're really goddam hungry) the vegetables will thaw. Clear out an LZ (landing zone) for the minced garlic in the middle of the wok. Spoon out a big, damn tablespoonful of the garlic, and throw that shit down into the (hopefully) thawed-out vegetables. Careful now, chief, because that garlic cooks up fast! Throw in anywhere between 3 tablespoons to the whole damn bottle of olive oil. Mix that shit up. Before your garlic burns. (If by now your garlic has burned, fuck it all and put some jeans on. Hopefully the Wendy's is still open...) La la la, mix up your oil, garlic and vegetables. Eventually put the drained noodles in there. Mix that shit up some more. If you're feeling fancy, get another bowl and eat out of it. Otherwise, nothing wrong with eating right out of the emm-effing wok. Yeah, bitches! Garnish with crushed red peppers and cheese. En-fucking-joy. OH SHIT, SEE? I FORGOT ABOUT THE PIZZA! GET THE FUCKING PIZZA OUT OF THE GODDAM OVEN! ___________________________ He told me, it must have been a thousand times, let everything you do show your respect for the game. Don't cheat yourself, and don't cheat your teammates. - Robb Nen, on his father Dick Nen S1.33 SKI++ MIL++ QUI++# RWG+++# KRA+++! f+>++ n Ips $ 8F16, 4F06, 4F02 M1978

Part of me thinks I'm playing up the helpless bachelor angle to Concord Mary, who is a self-proclaimed old fashioned, goody two-shoes kinda chick. Although after yet another foray into the realm of cooking for one's self, I don't think I'm faking it...

Luckily, Nyree Minasian has just called, and indicated that he'd be up for an excursion to the Zoo tonight! I can pick up a slice of pizza!

Katie Greene, Vice President of Public Relations, Expresso Parking

I cannot remember being this pleased with quiz results!

Your Stipper Song Is

The Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang "Sweat, baby, sweat, baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about" When it comes to dancing, you let your freak flag fly!

What Song Should You Strip To?

From Caltechgirl. And at the risk of alienating a fellow Californian, how 'bout them Trojuns?

Although this does bring up a good topic. If you were a stripper, to what song would you dance onstage? No, let's make this a little more intelligent. What two songs would you pick for your two-song set? Comment below with your quiz results a/o your two-song sets.

And for those of you who have never frequented a Zoo, no problem! Just use your imagination.

Katie Greene, Vice President of Public Relations, Expresso Parking

Most glorious, drunken Greetings on a Satur-dee Night with Katie Greene!, or Enough of Rosa Fucking Parks already...

Was only gonna post a funny exchange between myself and Nyree tonight about one of the girls at the Zoo...

Not AIM chat. Actual real-life conversation from tonight!
Tia Katie: Was Ivy always that ugly, or did she get uglier? Nyree Minasian: She was always that ugly, you just started drinking less.

...but then I found all the Firefox windows open to the Rosa Parks articles I was reading before dinner on account of this story...

Hundreds line up at church to view Rosa Parks

And now they're gonna let her lie in state at the Capitol Rotunda. Oh that's just fucking wonderful.

SHE. DIDN'T. FUCKING. DO. ANYTHING.

Do your homework. She wasn't the only black woman in these our wonderful United States who refused to give up her precious seat on a shitty bus to whitey. But holy shit, somehow she's a pio-fucking-neer.

You want a real black hero? We got one sitting in our Supreme Court. But shit, he's an Uncle Tom, he's a house nigger. Right? He wasn't keeping it real, right? He talks white and he dresses white and he probably even walks white too, huh. Yeah he'd make a terrible fucking role model for those 2/3 of black children born out of wedlock, wouldn't he? You shouldn't encourage your children to get law degrees and become lawyers and judges when holy fuck he needs to work on his jump shot so he can get a basketball scholarship and GTFO of the ghetto and go to the NBA.

Yeah screw that Clarence Thomas guy. The real issue is that the white man is making NBA players not dress like a bunch of street thugs. [whiny_bitch_democrat] That's racism! [/whiny_bitch_democrat]

Don't mind me, 16Peons. I'm drunk, I'm pissed off, and I just wanna use my shotgun liberally on some Covenant and Flood on my xB0x0r.

Although I seem to be strangely lucid and politically erect whenever I drink and post. I'm too lazy to find the post, but I think it's one of AnnA's weekend posts in october where I commented some pretty intelligent stuff whilst drunky-drunky. Maybe another 16P Overlord will try to find it. Shouldn't be too hard. Try the posts in the dashboard that don't say Tia Katie.

Anyway, yeah... Rosa Parks? Letting her lie in state at the same place where President Reagan laid in state is like giving JFK Jr. a military burial at sea. Except without the abuse of our naval resources by a bunch of criminal Democruds.

And Ivy? Ooh, very ugly. Nice body, except for the hideous, new fake tits. Check out Ariel instead if you like skinny blondes with good stage shows. At the very least, her new fake tits look good.

Enjoy the remainder of the weekend,
Katie Greene, Vice President of Public Relations, Expresso Parking

Late to the Table

Two things, which i'm already late posting, seeing as to how it's almost noon on the east coast...

1) Had a dream last night. I was in The Da Vinci Code. Closer to the end, I think I was one of the characters? Although it wasn't Tom Hanks or Jean Reno, since I could see them from where I was standing.

Ooh, and Audrey Tautou was there too. She's dreamy.

<hotchick>

click to enlarge in new window
<update time="1043" reason="Audrey Tautou is too hot to be confined by a single pic">


click to enlarge thumbnails in new windows
</update>
</hotchick>

2) Here's one of the funniest blonde jokes I've ever seen. I suppose there's a little bit of blonde in all of us.


(Note from Katie:  couldn't find the blonde joke from January 2006 in Attu's current archives.  Sorry, 16Peons.)

Katie Greene, Vice President of Public Relations, Expresso Parking

Screw this. We'll go right ahead and say what KGO couldn't: Chicks are waxing off and lasering off their pubes.

Just watched a segment on KGO's 11 o'clock news.

Hairless Fad Could Have Consequences

Hopefully, they'll put up a video soon. It's pretty funny how the closest they come to talking about pubic hair and crotchal regions is through showing a Sex and the City clip.

The best part? When they show the Campanile. "WTF?" you'll find yourself thinking, but oh OK then they start interviewing berkeley guys and one berkeley chick. And if you didn't already realize it, berkeley chicks don't shave their legs. Nor their armpits. Yet somehow, the pubes make the cut?

My neighbor is coming home right now from watching Grey's Anatomy at a friend's (place). I wonder if my neighbor is shorn. Maybe a nice landing strip?

I'd try to sneak some right-margin pics in right about now. Yeah, right.

[update date="20051128" time="1028"]
OK a video has been up for a while. Go to the article's link above, and then click on the VIDEO link. Why does this seem like a no-brainer? That's because it is. Except your Tia Katie didn't know it because he was trying to use Firefox this whole time.

And Firefox doesn't quite handle the pop-up. Or maybe that's just me. In any case, try several browsers. Funny video.
[/update]

This is kinda morbid, but I'll put a funny Tia Katie twist to it...

Found a tip on Attu Sees All about a SF Chronicle series about suicide and the Golden Gate Bridge.

not sure what happened to the other pic...

No, not suicidegirls (NSFW) although you should check that site out when you're not at work. Where it's not safe.

Anycrap, while I was happy this morning, having just read some articles about golden gate bridge jumpers now i'm kinda creeped out. I'm also convinced that a viable, structurally sound engineering/architectural solution exists that will preserve the view from the bridge and prohibit further suicides. By all means, do it.

Here's some stuff which will make nice, quick bloggy snippets, but not a whole post unto themselves...

excerpt from The Allure: Beauty and an easy route to death have long made the Golden Gate Bridge a magnet for suicides
Robert Blyther, a 27-year-old Navy veteran, flew from Virginia to San Francisco in December 1980 specifically to jump off the bridge to protest the election of Ronald Reagan as president.

You dumbass. WTF did you think was gonna happen? That Reagan would step down because some 27-year-old social retard was willing to sacrifice his life for some loser Democrud agenda? Moron. I hope there are still bits of you floating around in the bay. Why didn't you just slash somebody's tires or something? Rob a bank. Go to vegas and have the drunken sex with prostitutes. Those would have gotten you just as much attention, and would have been a lot more fun.

hey lookee here 16Peon, anotherexcerpt from The Allure: Beauty and an easy route to death have long made the Golden Gate Bridge a magnet for suicides

Mark Finch, 33, was a tall, high-strung Englishman living in San Francisco. Stylish, gifted and chronically depressed, he was in the process of coming off the antidepressant Effexor when he jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge on Jan. 14, 1995. When he died, having left his leather briefcase on the bridge's pedestrian walkway and a number of suicide notes on his office desk, his friends were stunned. Jenni Olson, his co-director at the San Francisco International Lesbian & Gay Film Festival, recently made a film, "The Joy of Life," that deals in part with Finch's suicide and the bridge's long legacy of death. Why the bridge and not another form of suicide? "Of course, given his personality, I just thought, 'Oh, how Mark' that it would be so spectacular. He doesn't do anything in a small way," Olson said.

Oh so what you're saying is that your friend is was an attention whore. Well I guess that makes it OK then.

If I were ever fucked up enough (and psychologically speaking, not alcoholly speaking) to decide to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge (which, incidentally, is not under CalTrans jurisdiction) here's what I would do...

Tia Katie's DIY Suicide-o-rama, Engineer-style!

1) Take taxi to Golden Gate Bridge from the Zoo where I would have spent my last few dollars, saving enough for taxi fare. 2) Go to lightpole #80, in honor of SF 49er Jerry Rice. 3) Leave laminated copy of Rudyard Kipling's Sons of Martha next to my Professional Registration and my Engineer Stamp (registration and stamp are still in the works as of November 2005) 4) Jump 5) Hit water at 75mph 6) Die 7) Be deprived of the fruits of Heaven for eternity having died in a state of Mortal Sin 8) Wish I hadn't partaken in steps 2-7

Anyway, on a lighter note Happy Wednes-dee!

Katie Greene

I miss Mikhaila the tall italian and her thigh-high stripper boots Seattle

(Note from Katie:  this is an old news item.  however, much like the strip club, LOOK but don't touch.  thanks.)

From this morning's Seattle Times, Mayor proposes stricter rules for strip clubs.

Eff the Man!

The city's current rules require dancers to wear some clothing unless they are on a stage, which must be six feet from customers. Dancers cannot simulate sexual acts, touch their private parts, allow others to touch their private parts or touch the private parts of customers. But dancers are allowed to provide lap dances to customers as long as their private parts are clothed. The [new] rules also call for lighting that makes all objects "plainly visible."

Insert your own "I got your 'plainly visible object' right here..." joke. Right here.

Eff the Tip Jar!

The rules also would bar a dancer from directly accepting a tip. Instead, tips would have to be deposited in a container or given to a manager.

Insert your own "I got your 'deposited in a container' right here..." joke. Right here. Ok this is retarded. So the same city from whose loins was born Starbucks and consequently the nefarious tip jar wants to do the same for Seattle zoos? Nice to see that you Washingtards are doing so well. Perhaps this is just an elaborate ploy to discourage Califorons from moving (back) to Washingtonia by means of feigning retardation. Unfortunately, it's just Seattle city council trying to take a page from the Berkeley City Council's playbook.

Practically speaking, a strippers' tip jar is a retarded idea because: 1) it proliferates the idea of the tip jar¹, and 2) decreases even further the whole stripper-patron tipping interaction. As the practical application of this law is today, you can sit at the rail, but to tip, you gotta ball up your bills and throw them to the stripper. Not at the stripper, and certainly not at her genitalia. Unless you're playing a spirited round of Coochie-ball². If Mikhaila the tall italian that you like is onstage doing her rad-assed pole tricks and wearing her thigh-high stripper boots, are you really gonna wanna tip her via a stupid jar which will likely be subject to distribution among the rest of the girls and a house commission? Of course not. You'll save your singles and go buy yourself some Dick's Drive-In once you leave.

yours in Vengeance,
Katie Greene, Vice President of Public Relations, Expresso Parking

---

1 This particular tipping philosophy doesn't quite apply to the zoo, but more to cashiers at Starbucks and wherever else. People should not be tipped in jars for normally doing something for which they are paid a wage. Don't want to get into this Reservoir Dogs debate right now. But if you're hired as a cashier, really, you're just an extremeley low level data entry bot. You don't tip them, do you?

2 Stripper had some belt-contraption which had a dixie cup positioned right below her crotchal area, patrons were encouraged to ball up bills and win prizes by throwing them in the cup.