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Showing posts with label Workin' for a Livin'. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Workin' for a Livin'. Show all posts

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Civil Engineering on a Pleasant Sun-dee Afternoon

(note from Katie:  this post originally appeared on Sunday 22 October 2006)

If I don't post this now, I won't get around to it until next Sun-dee. But you'll want to read this now.

New to the 16thP? Man oh man did you pick the wrong post to hop aboard with...

well, really, i don't have a pair of scissors in my studio apartment
TiaKatie (1:11:25 PM): i just trimmed my pubes in my office
ProfVivianCanapa (1:11:33 PM): AAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
TiaKatie (1:11:48 PM): granted, my door was closed, and my office is completely empty... it still felt very naughty
ProfVivianCanapa (1:12:10 PM): that's ok
ProfVivianCanapa (1:12:14 PM): one time i hated some guy
TiaKatie (1:12:20 PM): uh oh
ProfVivianCanapa (1:12:22 PM): i felt the need to wipe my ass on his keyboard
TiaKatie (1:12:32 PM): oh that's not so bad
ProfVivianCanapa (1:12:40 PM): that's ok
ProfVivianCanapa (1:12:43 PM): i had sex at the office
TiaKatie (1:13:00 PM): with a girl? with a guy? with yourself?
ProfVivianCanapa (1:13:05 PM): girl
ProfVivianCanapa (1:13:12 PM): that is freaking funny katie
TiaKatie (1:13:19 PM): the sex or the pubes?
ProfVivianCanapa (1:13:20 PM): the pubes
ProfVivianCanapa (1:13:25 PM): you felt the need to mow your lawn at the office
ProfVivianCanapa (1:13:34 PM): you should sprinkle it on some ppl
TiaKatie (1:13:34 PM): well, really, i don't have a pair of scissors in my studio apartment
ProfVivianCanapa (1:13:42 PM): HAHaHhahAHAhahahAHAHAHAHHAhaHAH
ProfVivianCanapa (1:13:53 PM): i should quote you
TiaKatie (1:14:00 PM): just point people to my blog
ProfVivianCanapa (1:14:07 PM): you talked about it??
TiaKatie (1:14:13 PM): no, i'll put this up on the blog
ProfVivianCanapa (1:14:13 PM): dood have you thought about jerking it at the office
TiaKatie (1:14:21 PM): i always think about that. even at church
ProfVivianCanapa (1:14:23 PM): and the putting the cum in the office creamer?
TiaKatie (1:14:30 PM): oh. no. that's kinda disturbing
TiaKatie (1:14:42 PM): that's also why i don't drink the coffee

You can't make this stuff up. Sometimes I tell myself, this is not my beautiful stapler it's the Katie who made Berkeley Engineering so degenerate. But with buddies like ProfVivianCanapa and RCCBrenda, maybe it's the other way around.

It could be the Southern Californian who brings out the perverted side of Berkeley Engineering. Never thought I'd say this, but we need more Berkeley Engineers to come to the 16thP so we can figure out the Circle of Perversion.

you almost got pwnd
TiaKatie (1:22:11 PM): OH SHIT THERE'S SOMEBODY IN MY OFFICE
ProfVivianCanapa (1:22:28 PM): what?!?!
ProfVivianCanapa (1:22:35 PM): YOU FUCKING TRIMMED WITH PPL THERE?!
TiaKatie (1:22:55 PM): FUCK!!! one of the senior dudes came in to use the copier!!
TiaKatie (1:22:59 PM): good thing my door was closed
ProfVivianCanapa (1:23:18 PM): you almost got pwnd
TiaKatie (1:23:22 PM): oh my
TiaKatie (1:23:35 PM): that would've made an even better post, though...
ProfVivianCanapa (1:24:14 PM): HAhaHAHAHHAHAa
ProfVivianCanapa (1:24:18 PM): you almost got pwnd
ProfVivianCanapa (1:24:19 PM): imagine that
ProfVivianCanapa (1:24:25 PM): you are mowing your lawn
ProfVivianCanapa (1:24:32 PM): and then all of a sudden while you're holding out some pubes
ProfVivianCanapa (1:24:39 PM): your boss walks in

Golf-Foxtrot wasn't phased at all when I told her this story. She somewhat expects this of me nowadays. I told her to check the 16thP later, as the depravity would find itself in 16thP-post form sooner or later. My only regret is that it's so far on the Later end of the spectrum, she's asleep.

She said she's quitting her job tomorrow. Could be an interesting week.

OK must sleep now. Big week ahead.

Tia Katie

Monday, September 6, 2010

Workplace Safety, The Amazing Race, and Full Metal Jacket all in one 16P post!

(Note from Katie:  in honor of Labor Day, here's a work-related post for ye.)

Our weekly tailgate safety meetings are actually bi-weekly, and don't take place around the tailgate of a pickup truck anymore. Ain't it nice being an office engineer? Well, really it's a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons...

Anycrap, (bi-)weekly tailgate safety meeting this morning. Good topic. Here's an excerpt from the handout.
passage from Why Take a Chance?, emphasis mine
Do you always work safely? Are you 100% committed to the safety of yourself, your coworkers, friends, and family? Are there times when your commitment to safety is not as strong as it should be? Have you been taking risks and getting away with it? Don't expect your luck to hold. No one ever plans an accident. An accident, by definition, is an unplanned event. No one wakes up in the morning and drives to work thinking, "I will have an accident today so I'd better buckle up." No one ever climbs to the very top of a ladder and knows for sure they won't fall. That's why it's so important to have a personal commitment to safety; a commitment to do the right things to prevent an accident--or minimize the damage done in case an accident does occur.

What is gained by taking a chance? Think about a time when you've risked your personal safety. Have you ever bypassed lockout-tagout procedures? Have you ever driven a car after you had too much to drink? Have you failed to use fall-protection equipment because it was just too much trouble? What did you gain in that situation? A minute of time, an ounce of convenience? Now honestly ask yourself if those gains were worth it. Is a little bit of time or convenience really worth chancing electrocution, a car accident, or a bad fall? Don't sacrifice your healthy future by taking a chance. Every time you're tempted to take a chance with your safety ask yourself if it's really worth the risk. Your family and friends will thank you for making the right decision.

And really, what kind of sick assholes don't put two spaces after each sentence? Check out the page and see for yourself...

Anyway, I read the lines bolded above and I thought to myself, "Yeah, I have taken a safety shortcut every now and then. We were in a rush, or shortstaffed. It was an unnecessary risk, sure, but I thought about it, seemed OK w/the risk. But what would be worth the safety risk? What juice would be worth the squeeze?



Well, at least they died for a good cause.





What cause was that?





Freedom.





Flush out your head gear, new guy. You think we
waste gooks for freedom? This is a slaughter.
If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is poontang.

A good a word as any, if you ask me. Please take note, 16Peons: Let's stay safe out there.

Katie Greene, Vice President of Public Relations, Expresso Parking

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

NOT TOO TIRED TO BLOG, BABY BOOYAH (this is like the Lusty Lady: Look all you want. but that's it)

I got home at 945pm. left the apartment at 5am. I hope i'm doing the math right, because i count 16-1/2 hours. I think.

I'm too tired to complain, so here's the rundown. If a gentle 16Peon would be so kind as to maps.yahoo.com these to find the distance i travelled today, i'd be much obgliged.

Ashby Ave., Oakland, CA to UC Merced (I-580E to I-205 to I-5N to CA-120 to US-99)
UC Merced to San Jose, CA (via 152 aka Pacheco Pass)
San Jose, CA to Milpitas, CA (via I-680)
Milpitas, CA to the Home Office in lovely Fairfield, CA
Faifield, CA to sweet sweet Oakland, CA

That seems like a lot. If i wasn't so eff-ing tired, I'd do a cool deallie like this.

Instead, since it only requires a couple of command-F replace deallies in MS word for Mac OS X and a few html tags, i'll leave you w/a chat deallie...katie-tastic link below, but provided by AnnA.

What a great friend!!! I just wish i weren't too exhausted to enjoy the photos.
chat deallie

9:45 PM
KatieGreeneVPPREP: yo
AnnA: yo yo [RACIAL EXPLETIVE]!
KatieGreeneVPPREP: holy fuck my shit i just got home
KatieGreeneVPPREP: left the house @ 5am
KatieGreeneVPPREP: hey you have that girls peeing link again? you sent it to my work thing and i closed it
9:50 PM
AnnA: http://fotzo.blogspot.com/2005/05/pipi.html
KatieGreeneVPPREP: why do i like this so much?
KatieGreeneVPPREP: there is a God
AnnA: figured you'd like it.
KatieGreeneVPPREP: god there's a ton of them
KatieGreeneVPPREP: i'm soo fucking tired, i can't even go through all of them
KatieGreeneVPPREP: that's how tired i am right now
AnnA: wow
AnnA: no zoo for you
9:55 PM
AnnA: no soup for you
KatieGreeneVPPREP: huh?
AnnA: nvm
KatieGreeneVPPREP: i'm too tired to fend off your judgmentalism
AnnA: I'm not being judgemental, dude.
KatieGreeneVPPREP: s'OK
KatieGreeneVPPREP: even if you were, i'm too tired anway
AnnA: I was cracking a joke related to Sienfeld.
KatieGreeneVPPREP: anyway
KatieGreeneVPPREP: i don't watch that Jew show
AnnA: you're too tired for the zoo.
AnnA: neither do I.
KatieGreeneVPPREP: BUT I'M NOT TO TIRED TO BLOG, BABY
AnnA: but it's a famous line from it.
KatieGreeneVPPREP: BOOYAH
AnnA: "No soup for you"
KatieGreeneVPPREP: oh yeah
KatieGreeneVPPREP: duh
On a related note, AnnA's Jewish friend doesn't piss me off because he doesn't play the Neurotic Jew card. The Disgruntled Jew card, on the other hand, is by far more entertaining and never gets old. This is worth its weight in free ham.

Neurotic Jew: Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld.
Disgruntled Jew: Adam Sandler, AnnA's friend, that kid from South Park, Krusty the Klown.

See? My hate is not w/o reason. it is surprisingly thought out and logical.

goodnight,
Krimson Jihad Katie, VP Public Relations, Expresso Parking

Monday, August 30, 2010

Worktime tomfoolery! (Look all you want, but please don't touch anything...)

The following e-mail is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. And also my job security.

Fun with an internal e-mail!
-----Original Message-----
From: Accounts Payable Chick
Sent: Tuesday, May 10, 2005 3:59 PM
To: Project Manager; Safety Engineer; Project Manager; demoted Division Manager; Division Manager; Katie Greene, Project Engineer; Project Manager; Project Manager; Project Manager; Division Manager who has a cute daughter ten years my junior; Project Engineer; Project Manager; Division Manager
Cc: Accounts Payable Manager-Chick
Subject: REPORTING MEALS ON EXPENSE REPORTS



Should you report meals on your expense reports, please provide more detail. If lunch is with customer or foreman please explain why.

Thanks
AP Chick
Simple enough, no? If I had any more seniority I would've sent the following Reply-all...

Katie Greene's would-be hijinks!
AP Chick,

So I'm guessing that it isn't enough to write on the expense reports, "Fuck, dude, I was hungry!"

all my love,
Katie Greene, Project Engineer